By: Josh Shippen
Joe Cool, the Sheriff, the Fridge. All legendary nicknames that we have come to know and love. But there are some other nicknames that are much less well known, in fact so obscure that they are just plain hilarious. Here are my 9 favorites that I found for you today. These are all from pro-football-reference.com.
- Tom Brady – The Pharaoh
Ancient Egyptian leaders = incredible football players? I must say I would pay a decent sum of money to see Brady with heavy makeup, and wearing that massive headdress, riding a chariot.
- Adam Vinatieri – Automatic Adam
This is actually a semi-reasonable option for the success of the long-lived kicker, but Automatic Adam makes him sound like some sort of a wind up toy that every kid asks for at Christmas.
- Mitchell Trubisky – Mr. Biscuit
I had to stop and stare for a second to try and see how this name made any sense at all, and I finally made the last name correlation. Kind of ironic that while one of Bruce Arians favorite phrases is “risk it for the biscuit”, Trubisky will be able to munch on all the stale biscuits he wants to while watching Foles play from the bench.
- Patrick Mahomes II – Fatrick
There were so many to choose from, but this one made so little sense that I had to put it in. I guess that this comes from Mahomes saying he wanted to work off some fat a couple offseasons ago, but when I think of obesity Mahomes is not the first that comes to mind.
- J. J. Watt – The Milkman
Huh? I don’t get this one at all but it’s still awesome. Maybe because he always delivers, but at that point why are we bringing milk into the equation?
- Jared Goff – Mr. Perfect
This one doesn’t fit how Goff has played, but I guess we are calling Goff the perfect QB now. The nickname would be more fit to a Manning or Brady like figure but if it’s Goff’s, then I guess it’s Goff’s.
- Jimmy Garoppolo – Prince Aladdin
Garoppolo has made his mark as supposedly one of the hottest quarterbacks in the league, but jumping up to a Disney Prince is a little much.
- Julio Jones – Jet
So unimaginative. Just because Jones is incredibly fast we decide that just sticking him with the name of an ultra fast vehicle is going to suffice for one of the single greatest receivers of all time. But if Jet is the best we can manage…
- Tyrod Taylor – T-Mobile
This name makes lots of sense actually, back when Taylor was a starting QB, he was one of the best rushing quarterbacks in the NFL. But at what point are we naming a player after a phone carrier just for the giggles?