Perhaps the Detroit Lions reached their lowest point on Sunday when Ravens’ kicker Justin Tucker bounced an NFL-record 66-yard field goal off the crossbar.
Reminds me of the old quote, “If I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.”
In what appeared to be a glorious Lions’ upset, when Detroit kicked their own field goal, putting them up 17-16 with 1:04 to play, instead it ended up being yet another disappointment.
Super Bowl LVI (56) is a few months away and Detroit has never played in any of them. In fact, the last time the Lions even won a playoff game was back in 1991.
Players, coaches and front office personnel have come and gone, and nothing has ever changed. All changes seem to do is build the hype and raise the expectations before disappointment inevitably sets in again.
See the 0-3 Detroit Lions to illustrate further.
Ironically, the man of the hour Sunday, Hall of Fame wide receiver Calvin Johnson is part of my plan. If named as Detroit’s general manager (GM), I plan on making things right with Johnson, while bridging the team’s fan base back to ownership.
As a fan, I always admired the pure dominance Johnson played with, and he is exactly the type of person I want touching every decision that goes on with the roster and in the building. I want to give Johnson his rightful place of honor with the Detroit Lions. He was a great player himself and I know for a fact, he will be able to recognize greatness in others. It only stands to reason, he will make the Detroit Lions great and he will be able to help load the roster up with dominant players.
I am offering Calvin Johnson $1.6 million dollars per year on a three year deal to be my assistant GM.
As the GM of the Detroit Lions, I am asking for a one-year, 100% percent commission only (no salary) Super Bowl victory or bust deal. Upon handing the city of Detroit the Super Bowl LVII (57) Vince Lombardi Trophy, I am asking to be paid $4.8 million after taxes. I am owed nothing if I do not produce that victory.
I have the most aggressive and outside-the-box plan in the National Football League on paper. I also think differently than 98% of the population, which will naturally separate the team from the competition. In 2017, I was in communication with Cleveland Browns’ owner Mr. Haslam when he personally asked me for my ideas. Initially, I said to Mr. Haslam, “If given the chance, I can put together a Hall-of-Fame staff within three weeks.” Mr. Haslam responded to me two weeks later. I ended up sending him a 166-page revolutionary GM proposal.
It is a revolutionary plan that will make the Detroit Lions the most dominant team in the National Football League.
What makes anybody believe I can pull this off?
All I have ever attracted are the greatest minds in the NFL over the past 40 years. I grew up exchanging letters with Hall-of-Famer Joe Gibbs, I interned with Hall-of-Famer Tony Dungy, and I was hired onto the New York Jets staff by Hall-of-Famer Bill Parcells. All I have ever been around is greatness.
In order to land my scouting job with the Jets, I had to look the most successful coach in league history in the eyes, Bill Belichick, and convince him to hire me without any formal football background.
My football work has drawn admiration from Marc Trestman (who I have known for 25 years). Trestman is the only coach in football history who coached two different league MVP’s in two different leagues (Rich Gannon, NFL and Anthony Calvillo CFL).
My work on special teams has drawn praise from Bobby April and Danny Smith (two of the most celebrated special teams coaches in NFL history).
I also have been personally mentored over the past 20+ years by one of the most revered talent evaluators in the NFL. I have spent thousands of hours on the phone with this man, as he has shared his knowledge and wisdom with me. He has given me what amounts to a NFL Master’s Degree in evaluating and people skills. This man has worked closely with ownership on several teams, and he has a number of Super Bowl rings.
I can do this and I have a staff of hand-picked individuals who are the most cutting edge and aggressive people out there. I also have two of the greatest motivators in the world planned to be on the team as well. These are guys who can elevate and raise anyone’s level of performance, to bring the best out of them, which will bring the very most out of the existing talent level.
For the past two seasons, I have studied the Detroit Lions extensively while writing for Sports Illustrated Detroit Lions, and I know exactly how to turn this around. I was also hired by perhaps the best turn-around specialist in league history, Bill Parcells.
To the fans of the Detroit Lions, I need your support and your voice in this. Together, we can do this. If you like the sounds of my plan and my plan to make things right with team superstar Calvin Johnson please write or call Mrs. Ford Hamp and let her know. This is the link to contact the Detroit Lions by writing an email:
Fill up the airwaves on sports radio and the Lions’ phone number is: 313-262-2222.
I want to do this for all of you who have supported the Detroit Lions all these years. I need every season ticket holder to call and let ownership know you want Daniel Kelly and Calvin Johnson running the Lions.
Together, we will bring the Super Bowl Trophy to Detroit next season.
Additionally, if there are any extremely passionate fans of the Detroit Lions who are interested in scouting, please email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org. I want a scouting staff of passionate fans who can easily recognize extreme passion in the players. I want the people who care the most.
Daniel Kelly is a former NFL scout with the New York Jets. He was hired on the regime which featured Bill Parcells, Bill Belichick, Scott Pioli, Mike Tannenbaum, and Dick Haley. He currently writes for Sports Illustrated Detroit Lions and he is a contributing evaluator for Draft Diamonds. For more information about him visit his website at whateverittakesbook.com. He can be followed on Twitter @danielkellybook and his Facebook page is WHATEVER IT TAKES NFL TALK.