Jessica. She was the hottest girl in my high school. Every guy wanted to date her and every girl outside of her crew envied her. So you could imagine my utter shock when she agreed to go on a date with me. She could’ve literally shown up an hour late and spit on my Jordans and I would’ve still been happy to take her to Friendly’s (I was a baller on a budget then-don’t judge me). Why? Because everyone she became friends with got instant popularity, every guy she even breathed on had the Bruce Leroy glow and damn it-SHE WAS JESSICA! The NFL is the hot girl in school. The NFL is Jessica…and I have 3 reasons why.
The Brady Effect
Ironically Jessica is a Patriots fan. That has nothing to do with my reasoning here.
In 2013, there were almost 60 arrests including one player allegedly committing multiple murders…who just so happened to play with Tom Brady. Let’s just focus on that last one. 6 weeks after Aaron Hernandez was arrested the Patriots finally trotted out Tom Brady to answer the question how the team is handling this “distraction” and how negative it is for the NFL. He thanked everyone for coming, put on a somber yet serious face and said “It’s a very sad thing” among a few other words. The media integrated the Greatness of Tom Brady within the deserved ridicule of Hernandez and the NFL world finally seemed to start spinning again. Tom Brady is so poised, suave and revered that a few words from him polished the NFL shield of the blood spattering from an alleged murder. Mind you-this is in NO WAY a knock on Tom Brady. In one of the toughest times in the NFL he did and said exactly the right thing. He’s just the face that the NFL needed. And the NFL has multiple figures like Brady. We have video of a running back leaving the elevator with a woman’s limp body in his hands and we have already forgotten about it. The NFL is so popular that we can forget issues like those mentioned before. 60 arrests…and we have trouble naming 5 of them. Yet the NBA still can’t shake the Malice in the Palace that happened 10 YEARS AGO! Why? There’s no Brady in the NBA. There’s no figure that amazingly likeable. The Brady Effect is that strong.
Wu-Tang had it right-Cash Rules Everything Around Me…And it does around the NFL. Lucrative TV contracts, jersey sales, PSL’s and season ticket sales are on the rise every year. Jim Irsay was arrested, given a DUI, had a briefcase containing drugs and $29,000 and guess how many sponsors the Colts lost? You can stop counting at 0. As a matter of fact, an article was written stating that sponsor support after the Irsay arrest was at its “Highest Ever”. Donald Sterling lost his team for being a crotchety old delusional racist who said something we all already knew-he doesn’t like black people. The only thing he hurt was my ears and the NBA’s wallet…and that’s why he lost his team. Just like anyone associated with Jessica got instant credibility so goes affiliation with the NFL. No one is pulling their sponsorships from this cash cow-that would be financially idiotic.
Cake vs. Icing
Jessica was one of the nicest and coolest people you could ever meet. You figured that out once you became her friend. That’s the NFL. Yes, the NFL is really sweet. There’s a lot to like when it comes to the NFL icing…but when you really watch the game and get to know it…the cake is so much better. The game is breathtaking to watch but only when executed correctly. To do that you need to put in the time, work, blood, sweat and tears to put on that show. The game demands substance over style but rewards you with flash. And it’s literally the only game enjoyable to watch in bad weather. Football can literally do no wrong.
As you’re reading this article you literally forgot that I said almost 60 players were arrested. And that number was down from the usual 100 plus. Yea, that pass the NFL gets is stronger than our morals. The NFL is the beauty queen of all beauty queens.
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